Emergency

Today I had something happen to me that I have never experienced before and I hope it never happens again. I was driving back to the school after my lunch break when I noticed a man running on the sidewalk and then I watched as he fell face first into the grass. A million thoughts ran through my mind during the next few seconds. At first I thought maybe it was a kid that was just being silly. I decided I better turn around through a church parking lot and make sure that the person was ok. When I pulled up, I noticed a white unmarked van with a sketchy looking guy in the driver's seat putting on a shirt. I instantly thought, "What if this is a trick to get me out of my car and then they are going to take me?" I know this sounds ridiculous, but I am so programmed to always be cautious. I decided to take my chances and I started running to the man who had fallen while I dialed 9-1-1. All of this took just a matter of seconds, but seemed like forever. The principal of the school I'm working at had been behind me and she came to the scene and called the assistant principal to bring the defibrillator from the school, which was only a few blocks away. Thankfully, at the same time a nurse came up and immediately started CPR. Nothing seemed to be working. His eyes were fixed and dilated and there was just a faint pulse, but no carotid pulse. He gasped for air a couple of times after the CPR, but nothing changed. The police were the first to arrive and talk to me, which is when 9-1-1 let me go. By the time we had the defibrillator and shocked him once (also no response), the ambulance and fire truck had arrived. I think it took them 10-15 minutes to arrive on scene, which seemed like an eternity to me. No one had a clue who this man was. I don't think he had any identification on him since he was just out for a jog. He was a thin black man who seemed to be in his mid- to late thirties and it was during the hottest part of the day. I just pray that he survives and that they find his family. I was pretty emotional and shaken up after the ambulance arrived and my principals and another teacher couldn't have been more supportive. One of them even drove me back to the school and sat with me for a while. They told me that they would take me home, but I knew I would feel better being around people than sitting at home alone replaying it in my mind. I am definitely not writing this for sympathy or kudos from anyone (I'm not the one who possibly lost a family member today and I feel there's more that I should have done looking back)...it's just a way for me to put my thoughts down and let go of something I have no control over.