I have spent two weeks out of my summer watching a former student that I had when she was in kindergarten. She is a bright and beautiful 7 year-old girl and I always connected with her and her mom. They happen to live in my neighborhood, so it has been fun for her to hang out with Mrs. Kerby, and I have enjoyed being with her (not to mention the spending money!). However, I have to admit that those weeks were a bit draining...getting up early and coming up with things to fill our day. I have done stuff with her that I haven't done in years! We have gone roller skating (loved it!), saw a movie, painted pottery, went to the library, decorated a vase with mosaic tiles, painted a wooden "H" for her to hang in her room, created those beaded things that you iron, and gone swimming, just to name a few! When we stayed with a babysitter growing up, we had to entertain ourselves with books, dolls, making friendship, bracelets, etc., so I was not used to all this activity. Thankfully, her mom gave us money to use for activities on top of what she paid me for the week. I have never had any problems with this girl, but she does have me wrapped around her finger. Last Friday, however, she became very upset with me! We went to an outside shopping center where there are ducks and a pond. We had fun with the ducks and then I wanted to go into the Vera Bradley store before we left. She loved all of the pretty things in there and she began touching everything! I said, "You know, maybe 'we' should just look and not touch everything." Well, right after that, I pulled out a purse that I was interested in. She, of course, questioned why I was able to touch the purse when I had just asked her not too. As I said, she's a bright girl! I told her that unless she was thinking of buying something, she shouldn't touch. Well, this response did not go over well and she immediately began to pout and give me the silent treatment. We didn't stay in there long and were off to Mardel to look around. Anytime I asked her a question, she just nodded or shook her head. Nothing I could do was going to make her talk! I asked her if she was mad at me and she said, "MmmHmm." I apologized and told her that I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but that didn't seem to go far. Part of me was cracking up seeing a 7 year-old do this (especially since this is exactly how I act when I'm mad!), but I also didn't know what to do since I'd never had a child give me the silent treatment for a whole 2 hours!! She began to warm up at Mardel and by the time we left we were speaking again. Within a few hours she was telling me how much she loved me :). Guess we're ok again! I have one more week of watching her in August.
The following have been my goals for this summer (in no particular order):
*Lose weight (trying for 20 lbs.)
*Get a tan
*Build friendships
*Build my relationship with God
*Read books for pleasure
*Read professional books
*Think/plan ways to make this next school year better
*Continue decorating the house (inside and outside)
So far, I am not doing too well in these categories. I really started exercising more this summer, but I have not lost any weight. In fact, I had a physical exam today and I am 7.5 pounds heavier than I was last year and overall, I have gained about 30 pounds in the last 5-6 years. Not a great track record. I know I need to be much more consistent than I have been, but it is so hard for me when I'm not even seeing the slightest results of my efforts! I mentioned this to my doctor today and she said I should be working out 4-5 days a week. Guess I need to step it up. I really want to lost the weight, not just to be tiny like I was, but also because I want to have children soon and I know that it will be even harder to lose if my current weight is my starting weight. Does that make sense?
As far as the tan goes, it has been SO unbelievably hot here that going to the pool to soak up some rays hasn't sounded very enticing. I've been a few times with my little student, but the only sun I've really noticed was a bad burn I got on my back where I somehow missed sunscreen :).
I am really working on building friendships here. I have good friends, but not a group of people that I do things with consistently. I am starting to notice that I tend to build friendships better one-on-one, which I think is why I don't really have a "group." Does this group just happen once you have kids? I am just looking for girls who I can get to know on a deeper level and who are interested in getting to know me. I am very thankful for the friends that I do have here and especially for Christine, who I think knows me better than anyone here (and still hangs out with me!). I am going to an event tonight that an elder's wife is throwing for the women in our young marrieds class at church. I had lunch with her a few weeks ago and was thankful that she invited me over and let me pour my heart out to her. I think tonight will be really fun!
As always, my relationship with God seems to get put on the back burner. I don't know why it is, but the last thing I ever want to do is sit down and read my Bible. Why do I dread that so much and why does it seem so boring? I feel that I have been stuck in the same spot for such a long time and I know it is completely on me. I continually make the choice to put Him last when I really do long for that closeness. It's like I know what to do in my head, but my heart just isn't there. I absolutely love going to church and love to worship through song, but if the social part weren't there, I'm not sure how committed I'd be. Anyway, I would welcome any thoughts on how to go from spending so much time doing other things to building that relationship with the One who really matters.
I have been doing some reading, which is something that I LOVE! I don't read as much as I used to, but have really enjoyed picking up a book at the end of the day before bed. I've done a pretty good job of balancing fun and professional books, although I still have a stack in my room that I haven't gotten to yet. Reading the educational books are giving me ideas for how I want this next year to be, but I'm really not ready to think about it too much. Each time I do, I get a little stressed and then have bad dreams about school. I've talked to other teachers and apparently this is normal and happens to most of them before school starts again too. Well, here's hoping I can cram those in in my last weeks of vacation!
Decorating my house has become my latest obsession!! It is so fun to have my own spending money to buy whatever I'd like for the house. One thing that I have really gotten into is a company called Uppercase Living. My neighbor invited me to an Open House on our street and I fell in love with all that can be done to a house! I decided to host an Open House of my own, coming up this next week, and after looking into the company, I decided to become a Demonstrator myself!! The products sell themselves and I can't wait to add things to my home. Some of my favorite items are the scriptures and you can also create anything you want...choose your own words, font, color, etc. I'll post some pictures of the one thing that I have purchased and put up in my home, but there will be more to come as I collect new items! If you are interested, let me know and I will send you a catalog. More info coming soon!
Well, I have a lot more to write about other happenings, but need to go, so I guess I will write a part 2 to this post soon!
12 comments:
Ok, so, could those picture have BEEN any smaller? :) I love words on walls.
About the friends thing... I find it funny that you think that a group of friends comes when you have kids.
I guess from the other side it looks more like this: "I never have time to devote my attention to a real one-on-one conversation with someone b/c I'm always making sure my kid is ___. Finding one friend is so hard. I guess that's why all the moms with kids hang out together. We are guarding the herd."
Seriously, it is REALLY hard to get to know someone one-on-one once you have kids. Sure, you may get together with other couples/families more often... but the moms (keeping one eye on however many children they are in charge of) can't really get deeply involved in anything b/c there are constant interruptions. And (well, I'm an "I" so, making new friends doesn't come easily to me) it's hard to open up and share "real-ness" with someone when you are wipeing up bodily fluids from runnin toddlers.
Trust me, the women you are able to go and grab a coffee with one-on-one, are the women you are going to make time to grab a coffee with once you have kids. The "group" thing, comes with the kids, but don't confuse "group" with quality or depth of friendship.
Maybe you weren't. Maybe I just went off on a tangent. :)
That's my 2 cents worth.
-Daisha
Hey Jill,
I always enjoy our conversations so much. I know I warm up slowly but once you get me to talk, you might regret it. I treasure your honesty, realness and depth. I am blessed to be your neighbor as well as your classmate and look forward to years of us spending time together.
I totally understand what you mean by wanting to lose some weight before you have kids...that's actually one of my goals too. I thought tennis would help with that, but apparently not. So I'm there with you on that one!
Jill, I can count on 1 hand (3 fingers,actually) the # of close female friends I've EVER had....Daisha is exactly right, with kids it's a "herd" mentality...fun, interactive...but usually not deep. I'm still not over Denise dying 2 years ago....that hole will be there forever...I'm constantly wanting to tell her things about you guys, or Ian, etc,etc....and remember - our friendship was such a "love/hate" one...but it lasted over 20 years!....so, cherish the friends you have...be satisfied if you are able to cultivate one that lasts....and remember the best friend you DO have....Tim. Even though he can't "gossip like the girls"....you CAN tell him anything...and he will love you no matter what....
Daisha, I think I fixed the issue with the pictures so they are bigger now. I am sure that friendships can be hard to build with a ton of kiddos running around, I just know that the group of friends who my mom was closest to were the ones who had kids the same ages as us growing up. We did everything together and even now, I always see the moms at church spending a lot of time together having play dates, swim times, etc. I'm sure it's much harder when there are toddlers involved! I am very happy with the friends I have made...I guess I'm just looking forward to those becoming deeper friendships rather than just staying at the surface level. When I lived in Tulsa, I had a great group of girlfriends and we would hang out at each others' homes, go see movies, play bunko, etc. I felt really close to them and that's what I'm hoping to develop here. I'm not sad, just reflective :). Lori, thanks for your comments! I LOVE having you as a friend and neighbor and look forward to many more memories together! Love y'all!
Oh, and by the way, Karin, Tim is a best friend and I DO tell him anything and everything!! Too bad he only hears about one-fourth of the words I say :)!!
Love the pictures of your house and I enjoyed our "date" the other day. I feel like nothing is "taboo" when we talk and I love that! See you sweet friend!
speaking of books...have you read the time traveler's wife by audrey niffenegger? It is coming out as a movie in august and i am just starting it, my friend read it and said it was good (a little profanity) but good. So, maybe you could read that for pleasure reading? You might have to order it cuz i had to because its popular right now.
you're lucky....steve only hears about 1 word a day I say!!!!!
Hi Jill! I love your updates and the pictures of the word art on your wall! And yes, we know people in OKC now...Jerome's brother is a Navy pilot, and he, his wife, and their daughter are stationed there now. I will let you know when we visit--would LOVE to see you!
Love hanging out with you and having some good talks. Can't wait to hang out again!
Sarah
Hey lady,
Just dropped in to read your blog and check up on you. I can't wait until you guys have children - btw, don't worry about the weight thing - my doctor said I could worry about that after I was done. :) You're good!!! I look so forward to loaning you things, listening, answering questions, and witnessing all of the different feelings that come with pregnancy and children. Maybe the slow progress on goals you complain of would increase its rate if you started with the relationship building with God and let the others fall into place? Don't be hard on yourself. You're great. :) Maybe He is calling you.
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