I am angry. I am stunned. I am numb. I just found out this afternoon that a couple I've looked up to my entire life has separated. He's having an affair and has moved out, leaving his wife and two kids at home. This man's parents have been dear friends of our family since before I was born. His parents were between my parents' ages and my grandparents' ages, so they were all friends. When my dad (who was a deacon of the church) moved out leaving my mom with me (4 years old), my sister (2 years old) and my brother (a newborn), it was his dad who went to talk some sense into my dad, telling him that he was going to lose everything he had ever loved in life if he continued on this path. Unfortunately, my dad was too selfish and didn't listen and now his dad is no longer with us to talk to him.
I attended this man's wedding just over 20 years ago and I still remember it clearly. I included "their song" on my wedding cd because I always think of them when I hear it. My dad had been a role model for him and he watched the destruction that my dad caused and yet here he is doing the same thing. How can this happen? Of all the couples in the world, almost nothing could shock me more. I love both of them dearly and I just pray that he will give up his other life and go back to his family who wants him to return so badly. His children are so hurt right now and my heart aches for them. I have watched them grow up and his daughter has always been like a mini-Jill. We are so similar in so many ways and yet, I pray that she will not be similar to me in this way.
I feel like...what's the point of marriage when couples like this can't even keep it together? I don't have my parents or grandparents to look to as role models and now one of my greatest role models in the church is letting me down too. I guess this is why God tells us that we can only put our trust in Him. I find this very sad. I want to believe in people...that they can make it and live a happy life together. I NEED to believe it to get me through difficult times. I'm just at a loss for words right now because of the emotions running through me. It's very possible that I will be going to talk to him. Not that I can change things, but I hope that I can serve as a reminder for how divorce tears people apart and it's something that you deal with the rest of your life. Please keep this family in your prayers. Thanks.
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About Me
- Jill
- McKinney, Texas, United States
- I am a native Oklahoman living in North Texas. In June 2005, I married Tim, the love of my life. I am a teacher, but most importantly, I'm a daughter of the King.
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3 comments:
i am so sorry, jill. i will keep this family, and you, in my prayers. i know it's so hard (i can feel your pain literally). it's hard to remember the couples that are still together when you experience so much separation. while my parents are separated, i have my in-laws to give me hope. but you have the right thing to keep in mind... trust in God. i don't see anything wrong with you talking to him. even if nothing changes, you know that you did what you could. i hope that you can feel better soon.
email your phone number to me so i can have it! and call me anytime... really (until about 11pm my time, 4pm your time). :)
You know,my marriage isn't perfect -far from it...BUT, we have stayed committed to each other now for almost 29 years, and I can't imagine not having Steve in my life. Good, stable marriages DO exist...don't be blinded by the negative - but hold onto what is "good, true, faithful, righteous, loving"....etc....think on these things...God commands it...because it is GOOD to do so!
You and Tim will have rough times...but having a basic committment to the INSTITUTION of marriage, and to each other will get you thru when you actually don't feel that you love him....and staying thru those hard times will eventually provide you insight into what TRUE LOVE is....unconditional, unending, forever kind of love.
:)
kk
Even though your grandfather passed away long ago, Nana and Papa were truly awesome role models for working through issues and staying true to each other. I know that everything was not perfect with them either, but they were so committed to avoiding the pain of divorce. I remember my Dad saying that people should just never consider divorce as an option. That leaves no other alternative but to give every effort to live in peace and harmony. I have so many wonderful memories of them being kind and affectionate to one another. There was never a question of their devotion and that was a huge feeling of security for me as a child. They both always said that becoming Christians was the thing that really "sealed the deal." They married in 1946 and did not become Christians until 1953. So those first few years (before I was born) were definitely challenging for both of them. Their commitment to Christ and to one another, and, as Karin said, to the instituion of marriage, helped see them through the difficult times. I know that you and Tim will follow their example and will reap the rewards with your children and grandchildren. In the meantime, we will just keep praying for our dear friends.
Love, Mom
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